


The Things Lassiter Puts Up With

by FountainPen



Category: Psych (TV 2006)
Genre: Bisexual Shawn Spencer, Fluff, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insecure Shawn, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Pansexual Carlton Lassiter, a little bit anyways, and tell henry that they're dating, because we stan bi/pan solidarity, i can never write smut, i got possessed at like four am and wrote this, i made ONE vaguely sexual reference in this and I almost died, mandatory pineapple is present, nervous carlton, pretty much shawn has to bring lassie home for dinner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24595051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FountainPen/pseuds/FountainPen
Summary: Shawn's father has put two and two together and figured out that Shawn is seeing someone, and demands he bring her to dinner. Carlton is a bit of a wreck at the prospect of springing their relationship to him in person. Shawn doesn't think things through very often.
Relationships: Carlton Lassiter/Shawn Spencer
Comments: 21
Kudos: 305





	The Things Lassiter Puts Up With

**Author's Note:**

> For the first time in my entire career, I made a vaguely sexual reference, and I kid you not I almost passed away. I will never be able to write smut oh my god.
> 
> Comments and feedback are really appreciated!!

To say Carlton was nervous would not be a false statement, but it was one that he would never publicly admit to.

It was exactly twelve hours and fifteen minutes until he and Shawn would be joining Henry Spencer for dinner. 

Now, the dinner of it all was not the origin of Carlton’s duress in the slightest; he’d eaten over at the elder Spencer’s house on many occasions over his years of knowing the two. No, it was the fact that Henry had caught on to the fact that Shawn was in a relationship, and had demanded his son bring his girlfriend over for dinner that had the Head Detective pacing through his apartment in a frenzy.

“Lassie, you’ve gotta chill out,” Shawn said as he ducked his head into the living room. Because Carlton was the unlucky dumbass that would be attending dinner with Shawn that night. “I made smoothies.”

Carlton grunted an affirmation but continued to pace, wringing his hands. Shawn fully emerged from the kitchen with a pair of glasses, each with a tiny umbrella and a slice of pineapple on the side. Shawn sat the glasses down on the coffee table, looked up at Carlton, then back at the glasses, and moved them both to coasters. Carlton finally sighed, because how could he not, and joined Shawn on the couch.

“You know you’re overthinking this, right?” Shawn asked, leaning into Carlton’s side.

“I know, it’s just- your _dad_ ,” Carlton replied. He did _not_ whine, despite what Shawn would say if asked. Shawn just raised an eyebrow at him and took a sip of his smoothie.

“At best he’s overbearing and at worst he’s a disgruntled Target customer,” Shawn said, “You’ve known my dad for years, Carlytown.”

“As an acquaintance and coworker!” Carlton shot back. “Not as his son’s _boyfriend._ ”

“Ha, you said the boyfriend word,” Shawn grinned at him.

“Shawn.”

“Hey, you’ve already survived Gus, my dad is small tomatoes compared to him, and besides, my dad knows I’m bi, even if he prefers not to think about it because he’s _ancient_ , and you are by far the most respectable guy I know,” Shawn reassured. “Plus, my dad already likes you.”

“He does not,” Carlton grumbled. He couldn’t think of one person Henry Spencer genuinely liked.

“He likes you more than me!” Shawn laughed, and that finally got Carlton to let out a chuckle of his own.

“At least I’ve got that going for me,” Carlton admitted. “Thank you, Shawn.”

“You’re welcome, I knew that time at the smoothie shack a few years ago would pay off,” Shawn replied.

“You know what I mean, idiot.”

“Yeah, I do, I just wanted to be a dick about it,” Shawn told him. Carlton felt himself smiling at Shawn, and for a moment he wondered how this had happened, and what series of events had led him to a point where Shawn Spencer was someone he was putting genuine effort into being around. Carlton noted that he wouldn’t want it to be any other way. “What’s up?”

Carlton didn’t say anything, pulled Shawn into a kiss, and grabbed the remote.

“Mentalist?”

“You know it,” Shawn replied, curling deeper into Carlton’s side, and Carlton noticed that the shirt Shawn had on was familiar, for one, and for two, way too big for him.

“Hey, is that my shirt?” 

“What are you gonna do, arrest me?” Shawn asked and threaded his fingers through Carlton’s.

“Maybe later,” Carlton replied, squeezing Shawn’s hand. Shawn, for his part, only mildly flushed as he avoided eye contact and became very interested in the rerun of the Mentalist that Calton had recorded specifically for him. 

* * *

It was hours later that the ~~nerves~~ inexplicable urge to check all of his firearms return to Carlton with a vengeance. Unfortunately for Carlton, he was trapped inside his car and currently two minutes away from arriving at Henry Spencer’s house. He was also currently cursing Shawn for getting him to agree to show up at Henry’s house without telling Henry who exactly his son had been dating for the past two months.

“It’s going to be fine,” Shawn said, “Are you the last thing my dear old dad is expecting? Yes.”

“ _Shawn,_ ” Carlton growled.

“You didn’t let me finish, you are not the worst thing my father is expecting,” Shawn said.

“Gee, thanks.” Carlton rolled his eyes. He took a deep breath as he pulled the car into Henry’s Driveway. 

“I’m trying my best here, babe.”

“ _Shawn,_ ” Carlton hissed through his teeth. He would do a lot more than one would think for Shawn Spencer, but he would not be called _babe_ in front of the man’s father.

“Oh, I’m so sorry Head Detective Carlton Lassiter,” Shawn snickered and climbed out of the car. “You coming in or are you gonna sit in the driveway the whole time?”

“Is that an option?” Carlton asked as he joined Shawn.

“Wuss.”

“This is going to be a disaster,” Carlton muttered. They hesitated for a moment on the steps of the porch that Carlton desperately wished lasted longer than it did.

  
“Maybe so,” Shawn agreed.

“But…?”

“But what? It might be a disaster,” Shawn shrugged as his father appeared at the door.

“Shawn? What’s Lassiter doing here?” Henry asked, letting them both step inside. “Tell me you didn’t cancel for a case.” Shawn and Carlton shared a look, and Carlton was desperately hoping he was communicating the phrase ‘So help me god, Shawn. You do the talking’.

“Nope, no case Pops,” Shawn answered quickly. “You remember that time like ten years ago when I told you I liked guys?”

Carlton nearly choked on air as they followed Henry into the kitchen. Henry didn’t miss a beat, though and simply replied;

“Shawn.”

“Yes, my dear old papa monkey?” Shawn asked, The look he was giving Carlton was taken to mean ‘Help me out here, I clearly didn’t think this through’. Carlton was going to let him flounder for a while longer because Shawn had been the one to drag him into this.

“What have I told you about avoiding subjects?” Henry asked, sounding like he was scolding a twelve-year-old rather than his adult son. Carlton was still calculating how pissed Shawn would be if he bolted back out the door.

“You told me to bring the person I’ve been seeing to dinner tonight,” Shawn said, and Carlton was quietly shocked at how mature he was being. “I did.”

“ _Lassiter_?” Henry asked incredulously. “How the hell did that happen?”

"No idea," Carlton grumbled.

"Did you hit your head or something?"

"I- _no_?” Carlton replied when he realized Henry was speaking to him

"Is he blackmailing you?" Henry asked, wiping his hands down on a dishcloth.

"I'm _right here_ , dad," Shawn scoffed.

"Henry, it bewilders me as much it does you, but I...genuinely _enjoy_ the time I spend with Shawn,” Carlton said. As much as he respected Henry as a former officer and his senior, hearing him talk about Shawn like he was _less than_ was something that lowered Carlton’s opinion of the man. Henry raised his eyebrows appraisingly and nodded, and Shawn was positively beaming at Carlton.

“Well, I’ve got steaks on the grill, dinner’ll be ready in ten,” Henry said, heading out to the yard where his grill was stationed. Carlton let his shoulders slump as Shawn’s father left the room.

“That went well,” Shawn said and patted Carlton on the shoulder. “Did you really mean all that about liking me and stuff?”

It was something Carlton had heard before. It wasn’t unusual for Shawn to seek reassurance and despite the questions that it left Carlton with, he only found himself relieved that Shawn was comfortable enough to ask. 

“I did, Shawn,” Carlton told him. “I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it, you know that.”  
  


“Thanks,” Shawn replied. Carlton took the opportunity to slip Shawn’s hand into his own.

“You two coming to help?” Henry called from the backyard. Shawn grinned at Carlton.

“Coming dad!” Shawn called and turned to Carlton. “You ready to get grilled about your intentions with me?”

“He’s not going to actually give me the shovel talk, is he?” Carlton asked.

“You’ve met my dad before, right?” Shawn winked and headed toward the door. Carlton blanched and hurried after Shawn.

  
  
“ _Shawn-”_


End file.
